Sunday, September 14, 2008

It All Started With A Dog


In the beginning, my mamas tell me, there was all powerful thing...somewhere. I've heard some humans call it God.
You know God was a dog, right?
Well, look, the Great Bark didn't want to seem all full of herself, so she switched the letters around and called herself God; but all us dogs know she is one of us.
I don't remember much before I was three. I do know that when I became self-aware, I was in juvenile hall for some crime I don't remember committing. But the important part is that I was paroled. I had to ride in a vehicle, which I hated, but at some point, I got a toy and food and cookies and clothes; so I suffered through. Yeah, I know, I'm a dog, so I'm not supposed to like clothes, but I do. It's a security thing; deal with it. Anyway, I got a family. They seemed nice enough, but I wasn't sure for awhile. It took me a long time to trust. But eventually I did. No sooner did I realize how much I cared for them than they gave me a little brother!

I didn't want him! Take him back! I said, but no one listened. Then they put him in a cage so I wouldn't hurt him while we played! Me! I was outraged that they would think I would hurt this little ball of nothing who only laid there and shook. Who said I wanted to play with him anyway? But at least I wasn't the one in the cage. Over time, he got older and bigger, but not much. He's still small. I'm not sure when things changed between us, but now I'm the one who needs protection! He jumps up a lot and tries to claw my eyes out! And what did I do to deserve this? Nothing! But he does it all the time! My mamas try to protect me, but still...

So I guess we've come to some kind of understanding. He doesn't seriously take out one of my eyes and I won't roll on him at night.

At least not so the mamas will notice...